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I am not getting up at 5 AM to run three miles, eat a high protein diet, go into a gym to do strength training, and then go to a circuit to get in 50 practice laps before meeting sponsors. When it comes to these sport/racing-sim games of any kind, I’ve always contested that while it is under the pretense of replicating the actions of actually doing it, it is also a game. Here, if you lose traction or get tapped by another rider, you are about to watch your lifeless corpse splayed across the track as your bike scrapes and tumbles along the tarmac shouting: “Kill me!” After the tenth time of this happening every race, I began shouting it atop my lung capacity too. It was the uncertainty of risk and reward of trying to attack someone. They were there to make you drive with anger. Whoever thought the slow prolonged shot of your vehicle’s corpse was tonally-perfect for a proto-serious motorbike sim racing game needs to go back and figure out why those shots were there for such a long period. See, I come from the school of Burnout, where killing someone else is encouraged. Intermediate can provide a challenge if you want to play properly, though pretending you are an expert out-of-the-gate is a show of stupidity not seen since someone thought racing bikes against me was a good idea. On Beginner, you might as well cut every corner and attack every rider with the force of Poseidon’s golden streams, as the penalties never rack up to what you make up doing so. The audio mixing made me want to lodge two shovels in my ears and dig my brains out. At least, I think it is what they’d be screaming. It is another rather dull affair, as levels of AI and physics difficulty range on a three-grade step (in the career): Beginner, Intermediate, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That last one represents the yelling I am sure your rider makes as you are whirled up into a wheelie for the umpteenth time, careening into a metal barrier by the side of the track, and rag-dolling into the catch fencing. “ What is the racing like?” I am sure you are asking. Who thought it was a great idea for a racing game where you go through tight chicanes? I’m not trying to patronize, but as I am sure most will attest, a majority of video games don’t make that a slow process because that would make the fun of riding bikes very monotonous. At high speeds, you use your own mass to turn while maintaining speed. You see, while a bicycle allows for a greater degree of turning, a motorbike can’t do that. In fact, it was something that was hardly explained in terms of easing yourself into it, taking about three months to shift your weight even slightly. The attempt at more realistic weight transfer during turning is not something I believe a majority of newcomers will be accustomed to.
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Especially when the tutorial to get you into the game as a beginner is about as helpful as an inflatable raft made of caramel wafers would be on the deck of the Titanic in mid-April 1912. The detail and endless faffery given to RiMS is something I’d argue was ill-spent. There are people in the sim-racing avenue of games that are so anal-retentive I don’t know how they function as human beings, and I think even they would say playing a QTE mini-game to change brake discs on a motorbike would be a bit much.
#RIMS RACING REVIEWS SIMULATOR#
I’ve been playing a bit of RiMS Racing, a motorbike racing simulator with all the bells and whistles I think no one asked for. You can’t convince me something on two wheels at 100+ miles per hour is safer than something with four wheels at 200+ miles per hour, it is impossible. I’ve never had an affinity for bikes, mostly because I’ve seen the other end of a particularly dangerous crash, and it is one filled with depression and self-loathing. I’ve already spoken of my disdain for those that think skiing is a sport, so I might as well tick the two-wheeled maniacs off the list too. There are only two actions that are more suicidal than being a motorcyclist: Strapping planks of wood to your feet and flinging yourself down a cliff, or being a dentist at the zoo.
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